stuff

Presenting the Hemline Theory of stock market performance.

According to Reuters:

Lower hemlines are coming back in fashion for spring and that could spell bad news for the U.S. stock market.

The higher the hemlines, the better the outlook for stocks, according to a popular, but frequently disputed, theory. When hemlines drop, watch out — the Dow Jones Industrial Average is likely to fall, the theory goes.

Bolstering the hemline theory, miniskirts were in vogue and stocks rose in the 1960s.

By the early 1970s, the Arab oil embargo forced Americans to endure gas pump lines, the economy suffered and the popular style was the ankle-length maxiskirt.

I guess someday we can relate stock market performance to the phases of the moon, or to the appearance of some random comet in the sky, or to the height of women’s shoe heels, or perhaps to the number of men getting haircuts in a given month.

Won’t blame you if you want to see more miniskirts.

After waiting patiently for about 3 weeks for a particular piece of international mail, I was finally rewarded with this:

Yeah, that is one end of the original envelope (or whatever remains of it) that was mailed by the sender. It almost looks like a dog ate it or something.

Among the contents of the mail, only some written material survived - a couple of priceless (sentimental, but not valuable in the monetary sense) enclosures in the package were missing.

This damaged envelope was packed in a neat USPS envelope (you can see it in below the damaged envelope in the image above) - probably as a remedial measure, after whatever they did with it.

Guess what’s written in bold letters behind the USPS envelope:

So, it’s an apology - and I appreciate that (I also appreciate the fact that they repacked it instead of burying it away and pretending that it never existed). But, I just found the loud “WE CARE” a bit amusing - it doesn’t really go well with how *carefully* the mail was handled in the first place. It’s almost ironic for that phrase to be going on top of an apology for mishandling.

OK, so this stuff probably happens rarely. But if that was the case, you wouldn’t expect a ready-to-use printed apology envelope, would you? I guess those envelopes must have been printed by the thousands - and probably are used by the thousands (?)

Here is another specimen (a package containing a Vanguard prospectus sent by Sharebuilder) that arrived on the same day - it looked like that at all the corners:

That one almost required the “WE CARE” band aid treatment.

At times like these, I am glad most of my sensitive stuff gets communicated electronically.

OK, what is it with people who lick their fingers before turning pages in a book?

It’s a question of somebody’s saliva getting on my brand new $147 book. I watched this dude for a while with his hand going to his mouth a few times and landing near the lower right hand corner of those pristine white pages. And then I had to ask him to stop.

He can fill his own books with blobs of his saliva, or even spit in them if he wants to and I won’t mind, but come on… I just bought this one by paying through my nose, so please… it does not need any DNA decoration yet.

Then, to lower my blood pressure a bit, I had to teach him how to turn pages in a book without requiring regular *lubrication*. Instead of turning pages (in a pinching sort of action) from the lower right hand corner, always do it from the top right hand corner - as if delicately lifting the pages with your index finger. Saves some precious saliva you know.

The dude seemed pretty comfortable with the newfound knowledge. But, old habits die hard, so we will see - till then he can borrow books from someone else.

~$~

With that out of the way, let’s visit some (actually, a lot of) interesting money articles published over the week.

A Few Good Reasons Why You Should Pay Your Taxes by Jeremy @ Generation X Finance. Yeah.. paying taxes is always better than 41 months of sentence. Check out other interesting reasons in this short post.

Dealing With A Significant Increase In Income by Trent @ The Simple Dollar. Man.. people sure do have weird problems.

The key thing is to not drastically change your lifestyle because of an increase in pay.

Getting the Monkeys Off My Back by Super Saver @ My Wealth Builder.

In my experience, there are several major problems that can prevent one from building wealth. These problems are like monkeys on one’s back.

Do Your Routines Help Create Wealth & Happiness? by Ben @ Money Smart Life.

Having a plan and sticking to it is good but every now and then you need to revisit that plan and see if it still meets your needs.

Why I Want To Retire Early, Change Roles and Live On One Income by SVB @ The Digerati Life.

We’re now re-orienting ourselves towards becoming more self-independent financially to give us more time with family.

Consumer Warning: Everything Recalled by Nick @ Punny Money. LOL… a classic “punny style” post.

This recall involves everything, including your car, your plasma television, and that sandwich you are eating right now.

What I Learned from the 2001 New England Patriots by Lazy @ Lazy Man and Money.

However, I figured that if the Patriots could overcome the odds, then I could as well.

Gold Price Climbs Back to $700/Ounce by Sun @ The Sun’s Financial Diary.

However, investing in gold doesn’t mean that investors have to buy and hold the metal itself because of the liquidation problems.

A Review of the NeatReceipts Scanalizer by JLP @ All Financial Matters. JLP reviews a receipts and business cards organizing gadget - it sounds pretty cool. He is giving 3 such scanners away, go ahead and try your luck.

Scanning business cards is where I was impressed the most. To try it out, I scanned my friend’s business card and EVERY piece of information was properly placed in the appropriate fields. It was amazing.

Buildings On United States Money Bills by Jim @ Blueprint for Financial Prosperity. Interesting trivia. Check it out.

The dollar bill doesn’t have a building on the back of the bill and one of the only two bills not to have a building on the back of it.

Does dollar cost averaging work? by Pinyo @ Moolanomy.

Based on my research, DCA may be just a gimmick to get nervous investors to take the plunge, because it does not work.

Refilling a Toothpaste Tube for Fun and Convenience by Nickel @ Five Cent Nickel.

I removed the caps from both the travel-sized and regular tubes, pressed their “nozzles” tightly together and started gently squeezing the larger tube. Lo and behold, it worked great.

Don’t Quit Your Job Before You Get Another One by FMF @ Free Money Finance. Almost a no-brainer thing, but people apparently do it.

I’ve seen tons of people in my career leave a job with no new job in sight — and they hardly ever rebound quickly. In fact, most languish for months before they accept the first job that comes along.

Warning: The price of the iPhone could go down again by MBH @ Mighty Bargain Hunter.

It was going to happen, and they got to enjoy the extra attention of people crowding around to look at their cool little gizmo for an extra couple of months.

• Carnival of Debt Reduction #103 hosted @ DebtFREE Revolution.

• Carnival of Personal Finance #116 hosted @ Advanced Personal Finance.

Here is a list of 12 random things (popular or not) that will never find a place on my shopping list.

1. Neon Lights Under the Car: Yeah, what? $199.95 for lighting up the underside of the car? Now, as frivolous as it may sound to me, I have seen more than a dozen cars in our small town with these lights. You seriously need to have an absolute dearth of ideas about where to waste your excess money in order to buy this stuff.

Sometime in the past, we were driving behind a Camaro that had some neon lights underneath it. My wife noticed it and asked me:

Why does that car have lights under it?

I still don’t have a good answer for that question, except “to show-off to people who care about lights under a car“.

2. Gillette Fusion Power: I wrote about this a long time ago, but it fits this list so let me mention it here. I haven’t understood why anyone needs an “onboard microchip” in a shaving razor. The razor body in itself is not very expensive (about $12 on Amazon), but the cartridges are a rip-off ($18 - listed as $29.99 on Amazon - for a pack of 8). It has some pretty useless features like this one:

Enhanced indicator Lubrastrip signals when it’s time to change the blade.

The time to change the blade is when it doesn’t shave properly - that shouldn’t need “enhanced indicator signals”.

3. Electric Toothbrush: I think people are going nuts in trying to make everything “electric” and automatic - either that, or we are forgetting how to do things manually - simple things like brushing our teeth. Here is some information on how to brush your teeth properly:

Generally, most dentists recommend a circular technique for brushing. This includes brushing only a small group of teeth at a time and gradually covering the entire mouth. To properly brush your teeth, use short, gentle strokes, paying extra attention to the gum line, hard-to-reach back teeth and areas around fillings, crowns or other restoration. (source: How to Brush Teeth Properly)

Now, why does anyone require a $129 $119 electric toothbrush to do that? Is this 2-minute activity becoming so laborious for us?

4. Color Inkjet Printer: These things are .. well, horrible. In general, printers must be holding some kind of a record for being the least reliable of all electronic products. “PC load letter” must be the most hated term in the office world (remember those guys in the movie Office Space? - I seriously feel like giving that kind of treatment to many printers).

Regarding inkjet printers, if you use them too much, the replacement cartridges will cost you an arm (and a leg) and if don’t use them regularly, the ink is going to dry up in a while and you will eventually end up replacing the cartridges. It’s a loss-loss situation with these printers.

Also, in the last 4~5 years, I have probably “needed” color printouts for like 2 times (totaling about 10 pages). Heading over to Kinko’s works out pretty economical for such needs.

For printed photographs, now-a-days you can get them delivered to your home for about $0.11 to $0.15 each (regular 4″ x 6″ photos). You can use any of such numerous websites for that purpose.

5. iPhone: $499 (4 GB) and $599 (8 GB)? Give me a break - it’s supposed to be a phone. I don’t want the internet in my pocket, and I don’t want the talk to my friends while I am listening to Aerosmith, and I don’t want to type a boatload of text with my thumb. The only free time I have to indulge in activities like watch movies, surf the net, etc., is when I am at home - and have access to other time-wasting products (like a TV and a computer) to do those things, so I don’t see the utility of a $599 gadget for doing that.

Plus, from my personal experience, I won’t hesitate to say that AT&T sucks - big time. I must have spent 238536 hours of my life trying to get due credit on billing errors on our AT&T phone bills in the past. A 2-year contract with these people is just out of question.

I just need something that allows me talk with the person on the other end without any distractions (like dropped calls, horrible receptions, etc) and I don’t need $499 to pay for that. Come to think of it, you can get two Wii consoles in that kind of money!

In fact, with the availability of some good free phones (or phones with negative price), any cell phone deal that costs more than $10 ~$15 for the instrument seems like a bad deal to me.

6. GPS Navigation Unit: It’s not like I drive regularly in the tropical rain forest region or the Siberian wilderness - the places where I drive to are well documented on all paper maps and there are easy to read directions on roads all over the country (except in New Jersey). So yeah, I won’t be spending a few hundred dollars on this electronic doodad as long as $6 paper maps are doing the job.

Also, I have a theory (based on observing a few people) - those who have a hard time finding roads using maps also have a hard time using the GPS technology effectively. Technology cannot solve problems created by lack of attention, lack of planning, and general panic.

7. “Memory Foam” Mattresses: Take a look at this price for a queen sized memory foam mattress. $5,799! are you kidding me? How can people get peaceful sleep after spending so much money on a mattress? (of course, there are cheaper ones available - I am just giving an example)
Here is a typical sales pitch for such ridiculously expensive products:

By purchasing a memory foam mattress, you aren’t paying money for a mattress. You’re paying money for your health. You’re investing money into your better sleep and less back pain in the morning. So tell me, is it worth risking your health by purchasing a cheap crap in this case? Definitely not.

I love these sleazy marketing tactics: create buzzwords –> make up stories –> create unnecessary health concerns –> rope in suckers.

There must be a few genuine products in this memory foam business, but now-a-days, every Tom, Dick, and Harry is using that term “memory foam” and it’s becoming difficult to spot the good from the bad.

8. Regular Incandescent Bulbs: Done with those filament light bulbs already. Will never buy one in future. These bulbs are not very economical in the long run - neither for your wallet nor for the environment. Plus, I am not a great fan of the yellow “soft white” light.

9. Cell Phone Signal Booster Stickers: The concept sounds like scam and probably is a scam. Read more about it here. If it were so easy, cell phones would have come with these stickers built-in. If you search Google for these things, you will come across a lot of “positive” reviews. Seems to me like the signal booster sticker interferes with psychology in certain instances - “I have paid money for this stuff, and hence it must be working” type of mindset.

10. Radar Detectors: Fancy detectors ones can lighten your wallet by as much as $400+. How about driving within speed limits instead? that doesn’t cost a penny and it is completely stress free. If you think you will save a lot of time by driving fast, read this and think again.

11. Services by Best Buy’s GeekSquad: Take a look at these prices and services. I am pretty sure these guys target some old people (or the absolutely ignorant) who hit the monitor when their computer slows down. Come on, $249 for installing Windows?

Operating System Upgrade
Professional installation of the latest version of Microsoft Windows that best suits your needs. Software not included.
In store: $129
In home: $249

A couple of hundred more bucks and you will be able to buy a brand new computer.

12. Two Way Pet Communication Device: This $199+ gadget is not a conventional item, but I found it pretty funny, so I included it in this list. Just read this list of “features”:

Speak to Your Pet up to 12 Miles*

Collar & Harness available for Cats & Dogs

Control up to 14 Pets with one Radio

“Call Owner” Button

LED Lights with 2 Mile visibility

Lol.. things are out of control here.

By the way, this whole SkyMall shop is full of such fancy stuff. Does anyone ever buy products from these people?

There are many other funny/interesting (and pretty much useless) things (for example) out there, but for now this is enough from my side. Feel free to share things on your must-not-buy list.

Image sources: www.andysautosport.com, www.worldnetdaily.com, www.become.com, blog.scifi.com, www.gadgetell.com, images.amazon.com, www.lolkeegan.com, shopping.com, askbobrankin.com, k43.pbase.com

For those who missed the action, here is a piece of it.
He is either faking it (not uncommon on American television) or he is pretty near to having a heart attack.

Here is an interesting exercise for those who are more than 18 years old.

All of the incomplete statements below are taken either from PBS.org or from certain articles in New York Times [stuff published between 2000 and 2004]. Fill the blanks to the best of your knowledge.

• On the Internet, ______ is one of the few things that prompts large numbers of people to disclose their credit card numbers. According to two Web ratings services, about one in four regular Internet users, or 21 million Americans, visits one of the more than 60,000 _____ sites on the Web at least once a month — more people than go to sports or government sites.

• None of the corporate leaders of AT&T, Time Warner, General Motors, EchoStar, Liberty Media, Marriott International, Hilton, On Command, LodgeNet Entertainment or the News Corporation — all companies that have a big financial stake in _______ and that are held by millions of shareholders — were willing to speak publicly about the _______ side of their businesses.

• Based on estimates provided by the hotel industry, at least half of all guests buy ______.

• At home, Americans buy or rent more than $4 billion a year worth of _______.

• The ______ industry rakes in more money than pro-football, basketball and baseball combined. Americans spend more money on ________ than on movie tickets and the performing arts. [via NPR.org]

All answers are related to each other. There have been enough hints already in the above text, so no more hints.

Apparently, AT&T and General Motors sold their relevant stakes in this issue to Comcast and News Corporation, respectively; so, they don’t seem to be involved in this matter any more.

Technically, a title like this belongs to Cap @ Stop Buying Crap. However, I am going to borrow it for the time being to address the issue of “The Club” - a steering wheel locking device.

I had been toying with the idea of reinforcing (I say “reinforcing” because the car already has an engine immobilizer) our car’s security. After briefly analyzing a few products, I finally decided to get the relatively inexpensive steering wheel lock ($40). A variation of this steering lock (and it’s placement on the steering wheel) is shown in the image below.

The device boasts of “solid steel hooks for greater security”, but according to me the biggest weakness is the lock-and-key system - irrespective of how “solid” the steel body is. And, any security system is always broken at it’s weakest link.

Anyways, I intend to use the lock as a “deterrent”, more than as a solid device to prevent theft. Given two cars, one with the lock and other without it, a *casual* thief will always go for the one without the lock (or that’s what I think). Plus, the damn thing is highly visual. Perhaps, intimidating enough for wannabe car thieves who are not yet all that sophisticated.

Just bought some crap .. or not?

For $40, it’s cheap crap anyways.

Dave Ramsey is going to be happy with me for writing this post.

Normally, I don’t subscribe to Ramsey’s psychology and I don’t recommend cutting up credit cards (at least not valid, unexpired ones that can still be used). But, I was just re-reading one of my long-time favorite books “Physics for Entertainment” and suddenly thought of using credit cards for one of the *entertaining* experiments suggested in the book [credit card plastic is rigid and virtually indestructible and hence a good candidate].

Before I proceed, let me make a few comments about the book - I am not sure how many of you have even heard about it. The book, first published in mid-90s, comes in a two part series, and was originally written in Russian by Yakov Perelman. Both parts of the book are extremely rare to find in the present times. The only place that still has it (that too only Part 2) is Alibris.com - with a price tag of $130. Interestingly, about 15 years ago, my dad bought the book (both parts included - *used* condition) for some measure of currency that is equivalent to about 25 cents (US $) in today’s world.

Anyways, back to the credit card boomerang thing.

First, it will be helpful if you read up this information on boomerang basics. After you read that, it will be obvious that we are looking to create some L-shaped flying objects from the credit cards. Technically, we are tying to make a “returning boomerang”.

This is easier when explained with images, so here are before-and-after images of boomerangs made out of a Sears Gold Mastercard (that card was still valid when I cut it up - didn’t have any expired credit cards):

To avoid being unfair to credit cards, I also cut up a check card (no more ATM fees ):

Now, to fly those boomerangs, follow these instructions:

It takes a bit of a practice before you will get it right (here, some people may realize that they can’t even flick properly). Also, you could try testing boomerangs of various shapes - try twisting them a little bit (helps for a longer flight), try rounding off the corners, etc. - additional incentives to cut up more cards.

A good L-shaped credit card boomerang should fly up to 10~15 feet and will *almost* come back to you.

Additional tips:

• It’s OK to have two arms of unequal lengths - in fact, that way it might work even better.

• They are fun to play with, but be careful - a good boomerang will come back to you and you don’t want it to get in your eyes. Credit card plastic is very hard (that’s why it works well in the first place), and it can really hurt if it gets in your eyes (or someone else’s eyes). So watch you kids if they are cutting up your credit cards for fun.

• In addition to teaching your kids how to cut credit cards, you can also try explaining some science to them. That will make your card cutting activity a bit productive.

So go ahead… check out if Mastercard flies better than Visa, or Amex.

This advertisement appeared in my college newspaper a few days ago:

Now, what more would you want in that package.

Couldn’t resist sharing the chuckle.

Btw, the habit of glancing over the classifieds pages dates back to my motorcycle buying days.

Feel free to share any funny financial classifieds you may have seen… or perhaps imagined.